drowning in dreams
by catalytic
Summary: a demoness posesses hisoka and feeds on his traumatized soul, and guess who's got to save him? ü [gawd that sounds so typical. just read it if you will...] -complete-
1. in dreams

**Disclaimer:  
**I forgot to put this disclaimer the last time... might as well, ne? 

Yami no Matsuei belongs to and was created by the brilliant Matsushita Yoko, all rights reserved. Ü I only borrow the characters for my humble creations. 

This is my first Yami fic, created in the middle of the night. Shonen-ai (boy x boy) and mild sexual content [lime] so pls. do not read if that makes you uncomfortable. All the rest of you, enjoy! Constructive criticism is very welcome. ü 

Kurosaki Hisoka

_#1 visit me in dreams_

Somewhere in the night, he was lying in bed. Not asleep, but almost. The Tokyo apartment Konoe had assigned to him wasn't big and in general quite ordinary, but he preferred it that way. Aside from the cardboard boxes filled with his possessions, the blinds he'd put on each window [he'd meticulously taken off the musty white curtains] and the futon in his tiny bedroom, the flat was bare and dull. All the walls were clean and spotless but absolutely white. Blank.

Hisoka buried his head underneath the pillow. He felt drained, but his mind was alive and buzzing. His thoughts moved like speeding cars in the highways of his brain, electric and zipping at top speed. But there was only one thought: Tsuzuki's face buried in a piece of cake, smiling wide and disarmingly, his clothes pulled loosely on him. Hisoka sighed and turned over.

What was wrong with him? It was certain that there was something between them; that spark that was a little more than just friendship and tenderness that came up when he hugged him, tried to force ice cream down his throat, or carried him home when he passed out… It made him all warm yet at the same time hot and tingly. As if something was crawling underneath his skin, disturbing him, yet…

He got to his knees, made his way to the window and parted the blinds. In the dark misty night, he could see hints of the moon. But there was always that day, wasn't there? Muraki's cold eyes resting on him, his sinister hands moving inside his thighs beneath that moon, that blood red moon. The torture, the rape. The curse carved onto him amidst pleas of terror and pain. Then dying.

Considering the manner of his death and all those years of pain during the 'sickness', death had been wonderful. It had been beautiful. He had closed his eyes, the light seemed so bright and cool it blinded him, and everything seemed to slow down and quiet. An incredible lightness had suffused his entire being, and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

Yet the freedom of it all had not concealed or destroyed the need for knowledge. Of his death, his murderer. He had become a shinigami to find that Pandora's box containing the memories of Muraki's mechanical eye on him, of sakura falling like rain from the sky. And now the twisted doctor violently stripping him of his innocence had made him terrified of being with anyone. Like Tsubaki-hime. Or Tsuzuki.

Even if he wanted it so much.

In between all his musings, he thought randomly of going to the kitchen for a soothing hot chocolate. As he rose, he found himself shoved back to the futon, a strange and sudden weight bearing on him. It pinned him to the ground. He writhed and gasped, struggling to get up and see it – all he saw was dark and he could not move or scream. It was as if a gag of plastic had been jammed into his throat.

"Aah--"

_Hisoka__.___

He bit down on his lips, trying to make even a muffled shout, though the terror in him had seized all control. There was an instant thought of Muraki but judging by his emphatic ability it didn't match. Sensing the doctor was like staring deep into a dark, dizzying void. The presence of this creature on him was powerful and insidious but its emotions were solid and full, basely dark, lustful, evil. It desired something.

Hi. So. Ka…. Hisoka… 

There was something so terribly inhuman about the voice. Hisoka had no way of telling whether it was speaking to him in words or through telepathy. It pierced right through him. Its laughter was ominous and resonant: echoing like the distorted cackle of a vulture circling a carcass.

What do you want, Hisoka? Whatever it is, I can give it to you. I have such power. Hisoka… 

This is a dream, he thought. He banged upon the door of his consciousness, scared and desperate. He felt so helpless. I have to wake up, I have to wake up. Tsuzuki…Tsuzuki…

Aah…the violet-eyed one. The one who was to succeed Sarganatos. He's who you want…

Terror blinded him. He writhed again underneath the weight of this inhuman beast. Don't you dare touch him! He thought angrily, the thoughts searing through his mind and heart but was unable to bring the words to his lips.

_Would you like me to give him to you?_

Don't you dare do anything to him!

_You would like him wouldn't you? In return, there is much you could give to me…_

_So much._

The beast laughed again, the horrible sound echoing and reechoing in the small room. Then it leaned forward, slowly, until its great dark face was directly over his. Hisoka's heart was thundering, his entire body shaking. Its scarlet eyes illumined with a flash and with a sinister smile, it pressed its lips upon Hisoka's. He gasped. 

His eyes opened. The dream was over. It was 5:41 am.


	2. bind me to you

**Disclaimer:** YnM is not mine, it belongs to Matsushita Yoko. As usual, all standard disclaimers apply. Enjoy. ü

Kurosaki Hisoka

_#2 take me in your arms –- bind me to you_

"Tell me about that dream again, Hisoka."

Hisoka paused, spooning a bite of cherry pie in his mouth. When Tsuzuki insisted that his partner come over for their day off, he felt he needed to bring something. Hence, the pastry. He knew the effect these things had on him: he'd gone wild with joy.

"It's just…"

He looked around him. Tsuzuki's apartment was always so nice to be in. while the place was always incredibly messy, it was warm and had a lot of character. Strangely, the place wasn't the usual multiple colors it used to be. Now the walls and furniture were all painted deep red, a smoky, burning crimson. It made him feel…strange. 

But he still had a feeling of safeness here. Like home. Or rather, what home should have felt like, instead of that dark room with a lock on the door and the echo of his mother's voice spitting out his name, shaking with disgust.

"I couldn't understand it. That—that thing asked me what I wanted. What I really wanted. Then it just laughed and then…"

"What you wanted?" He tilted his head to the side curiously.

"Yes…well, I…" He had a sudden realization. "I didn't say anything but it just *knew*".

And blushed furiously.

"What do you want?" Tsuzuki had taken on a delicious smile. His eyes went bright and mysterious.

"I…Tsuzuki.." He felt blundering and embarrassed. Tsuzuki was looking at him like he knew all his secrets. He leaned forward and held him by the collar of his sweater. Hisoka was suddenly afraid; thinking of Muraki under the sakura tree.

"Do you want *this*?" Tsuzuki whispered in his ear. 

Before he could say anything, he cupped his face with both hands and kissed him. 

It was so sudden. Hisoka's senses were completely assaulted. Tsuzuki's lips were soft and slightly chapped and he could breathe the shamoo-ey smell of his hair. His lips softened against his: his mouth was hot and syrupy sweet. Unbridled emotion rushed into him. It was pure and warm; _I love you 'Soka-chan_ and he felt faint., as if he was falling. 

As Tsuzuki carried him to his huge soft bed, Hisoka clung to him desperately. He was feverish and needy at that moment, feeling the rush of blood and the tingling of his skin. And, as his belt was unbuckled and dropped to the floor, so utterly afraid.

He was blinded by this cocktail of love, passion and fear. Eyes bright with tears, he reached out and touched him on the cheek.

_I'm in love with you,_ he wanted to say. _But I need to be reminded that you love me too…and that you would never, ever…_

"Tsuzuki, I…I'm scared." He couldn't remove the tremble in his voice.

His eyes gazed quietly on Hisoka's glowing green embers. The younger shinigami felt a feeling of strange softness and vulnerability, yet at the same time completely safe. Tsuzuki's lips parted and his voice seemed faraway, as if from the pinnacle of a mountain or from the bottom of a well.

"It's all right to be afraid. But I'm here and I'm in love with you and I'd never hurt you. Never." Touché.

He kissed him on the neck, burning. Hisoka felt the softness of the pillows around them. One hand moved inside his clothes, the other stroked his wheat-colored hair.

As he was lost in Tsuzuki's arms and his kiss, his fingers dug into that firm flesh and tears filled his eyes. He was being let down; he was being undressed. Around them, time seemed to slow down. Waves of pleasure were coming over him. For a single captivating moment, he thought he would die of this ecstasy.

Ah, he reminded himself as Tsuzuki readied to mount him. Of course not.

I'm already dead.


	3. the fire of deceit

Kurosaki Hisoka

_#3 tell me of the fire of hell_

Hisoka collapsed onto his futon in his own flat. Gods, he was exhausted. He couldn't believe how genki and hot-blooded Tsuzuki was. It must have been all the sugar in his system that gave him so much energy.

There was a new case at work. Which happened to be one of their most physically challenging assignments so far. Then if he hadn't already been worn out from that, Tsuzuki had practically dragged him into bed. 

Then it was a whirlwind of sweetness and passion, as they made love again and again, their flesh becoming more and more imaginative and experienced. He drowned in Tsuzuki's arms, in his kiss, and lucidly staring at the bedroom window where light was filtering through, felt himself float away.

It was one hundred percent pure ecstasy.

Finally when they were spent and he was pushing maraschino cherries into Hisoka's moistened lips, the younger shinigami rose to go. As he gathered his scattered clothes together he looked back at his lover, his partner. Tsuzuki smiled at him in his rumpled crimson shirt and kissed him eagerly on the mouth.

_Love you, love you, love you._

As he turned the knob, Hisoka hesitated. Something was wrong in the air; his fine-tuned empathy could sense that. But he couldn't place it and he was disturbed, already distracted by the glassy surface of Tsuzuki's eyes as they watched him go.

What could it have been? It was like shards of glass underneath his skin. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine himself once again in the warm crimson walls of Tsuzuki's flat, with his partner's eyes burning on him and his fingers parting his legs. 

"So, have you enjoyed yourself? Hisoka."

Jolted, he looked up. The phantom, the dark beast was standing above him, its talon-like hand reaching down to stroke his hair. Its nails reminded him of smoky topaz, golden, cracked and chipped. His heart seemed to stop. Terrified, he clambered to get up, to run away, but his legs were lead once again and his voice a dry choke in his throat.

"W-What are you?" He managed. His eyes, burning green with fear, stared up at the inhuman face with its searing black aura and its dark straggled hair. The monstrous mouth twisted into an excruciating, demonic smile.

"What do you want from me?" He struggled to make his voice hard but it came out like a wisp of words. He struggled against its staggering presence, dizzied by the assault of its inhuman mind on his emphatic powers. It is another dream, he thought. I'll wake up any moment.

"Ah, but you think this is a dream? Tsk.  The life you've been living these past few days with your beloved is the dream."

"What…!?"

"It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

_What do you want Hisoka? "_No!", he said, loudly this time. He loves e. We made love on his bed with the dtarched white sheets. But he could not help and remember the glassy hollow look in Tsuzuki's eyes before he'd left his apartment. The way every word seemed so exact and measured. The strange feeling that he'd had. And the color red…yes, suddenly everything seemed to be painted crimson…and they'd ate nothing but cherries…maraschino cherries, cherry pie….

"You always had such fixations. Remember the night under thee sakura tree with the red moon? Remember, Hisoka?

"I gave you everything you wanted. The key to your lust. Now I'm leaving you in your little fantasy and I'm telling you this because I will enjoy it all the more."

The demon walked over to Hisoka sprawled on the futon and straddled him, obscenely fondling his chest and his face. The young empathy shuddered. It smiled again.

"You will have this fantasy world. And I shall borrow your body. While you lust for this Tsuzuki, I lust for your soul… your soul so young and pure and ravaged. Your soul with its powers of empathy. Fragile souls such as yours filled with such darkness, suffering, and purity are always so sweet."

"It's a lie!" Hisoka's face convulsed and he struggled to get away. I have to fight it. "He told me.…" His voice caught in his throat. "He loved me."

"Silly child. Love is just a game."

Tsuzuki…. He felt himself falling and everything began to obscure from view. Soon he would revert back to the dream. He had to remember, fight it. The demon was walking away and he only then realized that it was female, or at least, had the form and gait of a woman. Nothing permeated through to the empathy. Only cold and hatred and greed.

"Wait…what the hell are you?" 

It…she gave him a sickly sweet smile and her whiteless veiny eyes looked directly at him.

"My name is Kauket."

Darkness.

**Notes:** Took me quite a while to update this. Actually, I finished the entire thing a long time ago. I'm just a lazy slob when it comes to typing it all out and uploading it. ^_^ YnM belongs to Matsushita Yoko, all standard disclaimers apply. ^-^ By the way, I borrowed the name Kauket, which happens to be one of the online names of a friend of mine. Sorry Danna! Next chapters coming up…r&r! ü


	4. foolery

**Disclaimer**: Yadda yadda, you know the drill. ;) Matsushita Yoko owns this wonderful anime with its yummy characters. Enjoy, and if you can, review! ü

Tsuzuki Asato

_#1 somehow you've got everybody fooled_

It had been a wearying day. Tsuzuki finished up his last ice cream cone, and turned back to his partner. The heat of early summer was so intense that Tsuzuki was wearing the loosest, most comfortable clothing he could find but Hisoka, in a sleek, dark jacket and leather pants, was looking extremely…cool. Tsuzuki sweat dropped. No pun intended.

The case was very simple, but it was of the sort he didn't like. A young girl had died recently of an extremely violent death. Yet instead of proceeding to the Meifu, her soul, clinging to life, possessed other children in the city of Kyoto. The girls' hosts would then slowly deteriorate and die as if from some unknown disease, from the stress and leech-like effects of her spirit.

Tatsumi had gingerly handed him a stack of photos, each picture one of the young victims when he or she died. His hands fingered the crisp photographs, touching at the once-blooming lives imprinted on the film. Destroyed. There had been nine in all.

Too many innocent lives, Tsuzuki thought sadly. Even the process of sending the child to the afterlife would also kill her young host.

"Hey Bon." He turned to his companion. Hisoka seemed dully bored and returned the look sullenly.

"Yes?"

"Did Goushoushin inform you of the girl's name?"

"Hn. Don't you know? I believe it was Tomoki, but what does that matter?" He licked his lips.

"Tomoko." Tsuzuki hesitated. "Kurosaki Tomoko. She was your first cousin, wasn't she? And she…"

_Died a lot like you.__ He thought, unable to say it. Just eleven years old, she saw something she shouldn't have. Was raped and murdered by some psycho. But she was more of a child than he had been and no curse or memory spells had been cast on her. She had been strangled to death and her body, lying in a grassy ditch far from Kyoto, would probably be discovered by investigators only that day._

Yet Tsuzuki noticed that Hisoka didn't seem to care at all. The boy only restlessly folded his arms behind his back. Tsuzuki had scarcely seen Hisoka so unfeeling and insensitive. Now his eyes glowed with a different light. He longed to peer into them, take a closer look. What was there in those eyes? Anger? Ambition? Malice?

Or was it all of them? 

"Tss…What's the difference. Do you want to use that in order to slay her?"

"I…"

The last school bell of the year from the grade school across the street rang clearly in the air. Then they saw her. A small figure radiating with an unholy aura standing out from the fresh batch of famished children rushing towards the ice cream stand. This time, the host was a young bespectacled boy of about twelve with large, globelike eyes. Green eyes. _My god… Tsuzuki thought sadly. __He must be just like 'Soka when he was cursed._

Hisoka looked on indifferently. Then, quite uncharacteristically flashed a crooked little smile.

"Let's go!"

"I would just like to commend you for this past week, Kurosaki. We're fortunate to have such a skilled, hardworking shinigami like you in the Shokan division." Konoe cleared his throat.

"That's right!"

"Not like your good-for-nothing partner!"

Tsuzuki glared at the chuckling people peeking into the chief's office from the doorway. "I resent that!"

He turned back to the small gathering in the office room. Hisoka had carried out the last mission perfectly. In fact, all of the past missions they'd been assigned that week had been promptly taken care of by Hisoka. Konoe complimented him openly, eyeing Tsuzuki the whole time, eyebrow raised. Goushoushin, Tatsumi and Watari beamed at the boy, Wakaba gave him sweet little smiles and even Terazuma looked impressed.

Why then was he so deterred?

"What could it be?" He thought aloud later when work was over and he was relaxing at one of his favorite cafes. His partner had been perfect but unbelievably rutal. The child whose lost soul had taken so many others had finally been relieved but at what cost. He recalled Hisoka's heartless look as the young host struggled for air at their feet. Ice-cold, he thought. Not Hisoka.

Not the Hisoka he knew.

"Excuse me sir!" Tsuzuki jumped. A waitress in a carnation pink uniform and even rosier cheeks was timidly holding out the bill. Her fellow waitresses spied from the counter, pointing and giggling. "Y-You've been here for three hours, and have pretty much cleaned out the whole kitchen. Um…would you like the bill?"

"Oh…yes please."

Oblivious to the shrieks of the café's staff and the fumbling of the smitten girl with the trays, Tsuzuki shook his head. If Hisoka was Hisoka, he'd have thought something up to get him out of blowing away his bonus on shortcakes. Hell, he'd have been there for starters and have prevented all that overspending.

But now icy and sullen, he'd his own agenda.

Comically, he brought a fist down onto his open palm with a determined look and nodded. There was definitely something wrong. And he was going to find out just what it was.

He emptied his pockets and left.

**Notes**: This is kind of an in-betweener chapter. Just to let you see Tsuzuki's side... Sorry if I'm prolonging this too much. It is my first fic after all. ;) Chapter 5 coming soon! 


	5. not what it seems

**Author's Notes:** Wheee...It's been a while since I continued typing this story. ;) Though, I hadn't realized that it was a bit like Devil's Trill reversed.... ^^; Oh well. All the usual disclaimers hold true, enjoy!

Tsuzuki Asato

_#2 all is not what it seems_

Tsuzuki took the elevator up. Yes, it would be far easier if he'd simply flown or teleported to Hisoka's door, but he rather liked the tediousness.

It felt so very human.

He flicked the little button marked Open and with a _ping_, the elevator doors slid open. He stepped through them and looked around. Tsuzuki'd been here several times before, mostly whenever Hisoka became incapacitated and he'd had to carry him home, and whenever they had quite a lot of paperwork that needed to be done together, he'd always voted to go to Hisoka's.

It was less roomy than his condo, but so clean and neat that there was actually some space to work in. And while he secretly itched to get Hisoka into his much larger bed, the mounds of mess in his place weren't very inviting.

As he casually walked up to the door, he thought of what excuse he should make._ Hiya 'Soka, for no reason at all, I brought you some pocky and leftover pastries. Wanna share? Hey there kid, I just came all the way here to tell you what a great job that was. Hisoka, I just wanted to chat...and I'm too lazy to use the phone._

Stupid, he thought angrily to himself. It was possible to craft a good lie when it was well known that he was an idiot whose every emotion was stamped so visibly on his face. Besides, he didn't even have any pocky. He reached the door with Hisoka's apartment number on it in gold, and tentatively, he knocked.

There was silence; then a click. The sound of a lock opening.

A face peeked out, and with a widening grin, the door swung open. "Tsuzuki." Hisoka burst into a smile and his eyes gleamed. "Good evening. Come in."

Tsuzuki felt a slight shiver trickle down his spine as he stepped in. Everything was in its proper place; nothing seemed wrong. Yet there was an oddness that seemed to steep the entire apartment, and that same, strange uncertainty tainted the figure of Hisoka.

"Erm. Would you like a drink?" He smiled as he made his way to the kitchen counter and popped open the fridge door.

"Uh...anything 'Soka. I was just..." Why was Hisoka so nice now? So formal and even overly polite. He was moody but...

White wine. Hisoka poured out two glasses and handed one, sparkling in its crystal cup, to Tsuzuki. His eyes still fixed on his, the boy downed his glass thoroughly and poured himself another. Tsuzuki tasted it curiously. Then it was if the gears in his mind fell into place.

He looked up. Hisoka had seated himself on the counter, tipping the contents of his drink straight down his throat. His legs were crossed. 

_What's wrong with this picture?_

The violet eyed shinigami took a step back. His hand dived into his jacket pocket, felt for paper. The green orbs were staring at him.

"Anything the matter, Tsuzuki?"

His arm flew and he held up the fuda paper talisman, a fierceness spread over his features. His eyes grew into dark, glinting stones, brimming with realization. Hisoka...he fainted at even the slightest hint of alcohol. Even so much as a sip.

Things aren't what they seem.

"You're NOT Hisoka! Who the hell are you?!"

'Hisoka' didn't move. His smiling expression didn't leave, but...his eyes had changed. They were no longer the beautiful, bright emeralds but now hot, red-black embers. His lashes were suddenly long and spiked, and his body was elongating, transforming. Taking on the curve and form of something new and definite. A woman.

"I see." Hisoka's normal voice had disappeared and it was now dusky and haunting, with a soft, strange accent. Such a voice. She still retained the boy's face, yet it was twisted with those loathsome eyes and large, pouty lips convulsed into a sinister little grin. Her hair too was changed. It was increasing in length; now long, ragged, and midnight black.

"You figured me out. The partners always did."

Tsuzuki's teeth clenched, preventing a gasp of shock from escaping him._ Who is this woman... _He raised up the talisman, readying to spellcast, He ran over the events in his mind. If he decided to use his fuda magic here, he might not be able to control it. The apartment and the others near it could be torn apart. It was a risk.

"Where is Hisoka?"

She lazily ran clawlike fingers through her hair, twirling the twisting, raven strands in her palms. She could see the sweat trickling down Tsuzuki's face, and in contrast, seemed perfectly self-assured. She didn't answer straight away; only haughtily threw back her head.

_She's holding the cards here. She can afford poise._

_"_In the bedroom, dearie." Her composed smile revealed rows of gruesomely pointed, pearly teeth. "So you can't summon any shikigami now can you? Or you could hurt that beautiful little boy when they raze this apartment."

His impulsive instinct didn't pause for contemplation. He stumbled through past furniture and unpacked boxes, tripping over the bedroom's beige carpet. Upon sight of his partner, he was dumbstruck.

Hisoka lay in a mess of blood-stained sheets on his futon. His eyes gazed powerlessly at the ceiling, blood trickling out of them and his lips. He seemed a pale white, shrinking, aging version of himself. By all appearances, a still, ivory corpse rubbed with traces of crimson. A strange black tentacle was wrapped around him, digging into his skin.

_That woman's hair_, he realized.

Then she was suddenly upon him , cradling that shrunken body. To his horror, Tsuzuki felt his own body freeze. He could scarcely move...this woman wielded such a powerful aura. As she ran her tongue over the top of his forehead, Hisoka stirred ever so slightly, and a soft, ragged breathing issued from his mouth.

_Thank the gods...he's alive._

"I'll be leaving now darling. And I shall take your boy with me. I hope you understand. He's my power source. And he has such an excruciatingly _delicious_ morsel of a tortured soul."

"Damn you...!"

Gritting his teeth, he shut his eyes and forced himself. To move. The talisman waved in the air, and he readied for the spell. He was blinded by thoughts of Hisoka. But before he could even speak, she blinked at him with those dark red eyes, and he felt his legs giving out and the floor crashing into him. She laughed, a high terrible laugh, before she and his partner, Hisoka... _My Hisoka._.. Tsuzuki felt dampness stinging the corners of his eyes.

Disappeared without a trace.


	6. finding you

**Disclaimer**: Gaaah...nearly two months!! First things first, I apologize for the late update! I lost my original hard copies of the story, so I'm having to rewrite all the succeeding chapters again. SUMIMASEN. :P And hey, I'm only getting on summer break now. :P All standard disclaimers apply. Enjoy!

Tsuzuki Asato

_#03 finding you...saving you_

Once the bureau had been notified, Watari had virtually attached himself to his slim laptop. The typing went on for an hour or so, furious and unceasing. His brows were furrowed deep into his forehead and his hair was disheveled. An equally harassed-looking 03 hooted weakly on his shoulder. 

A clatter of punching on keys, the click of a mouse and—

"We have a hit."

Tsuzuki looked up from his worried pacing and Tatsumi from the pile of folders he was shifting through. Wakaba was chewing her lip, looking pensively from the shut doorway clutching the carton boxes of more and more records.

"Aie…it's a good thing that I had Guoshoushin wire the library database electronically or we'd have had to search through mounds of records." Watari's eyes flashed. "This demoness is very very old."

Tsuzuki retraced his steps to the windowsill, where he had sent a messenger to find his partner. It had been three hours yet it had not returned. He flipped his attention back to the light haired shinigami. "So who is she and what is she after?"

"She calls herself Kauket…the Egyptian goddess of primordial darkness. She is a parasitic phantom who attacks shinigami almost exclusively. Her power relies on draining them of their very soul, by feeding on the darkness of their memories and their deepest desires. She locks them in a dream sleep where all they can see is what she steals from them; memories, emotions, hopes, everything. Eventually, she drains them completely and the shinigami will be absorbed into her.

"Centuries ago, she destroyed many shinigami…targeting especially those who died young and had a sorrowful life. Er…about 400 years ago, it was thought she was permanently dispelled but…she must have been only biding her time, or has only now broken free from a binding spell."

"How shall we find her?" Tatsumi gave him a serious, questioning look.

"According to logs from long-gone shinigami, she would most likely have brought him to a place of great importance and/or anguish during his mortal life. Memory stimulation…so that means…"

The sound of the swinging door and Wakaba's off-guard gasp caught all of their attention. Tsuzuki had raced out.

Of course…there's only one place… 

In the year since Hisoka's death and the week since Tomoko's murder, the Kurosaki compound had fallen into disarray. The once beautiful ancestral mansion was in shambles now. Whispers of ghost children and family curses circulated around the family who abandoned it completely, and the place was now devoid of people save the aged gamekeeper who only came by to tend the garden.

And it was a wide and spacious garden, one of great beautiful trees and rows of flower bushes. As a child, Hisoka had loved to explore the grassy grounds when he wasn't being held on a strict rein by his parents.

A lone cherry tree had single handedly destroyed every happy memory he had of the place . A night had been with a mood as scarlet at blood and a smiling, silver-haired monster had carved a curse upon his body. He had struggled, then succumbed, sunken into a sable haze of pain and delirium, screaming like an infant caught in a nightmare he couldn't escape from. And it was a nightmare. The sakura petals rained from the sky like tears, crying for a little boy's stolen innocence.

Kauket smiled as she watched him cringe and twitch. She pulled her dark tentacle-like locks of hair about him tighter, inhibiting his soft breathing, and binding him to the trunk of the old tree.

He was beginning to plunge into a dark portal of his own misery. He was remembering the nights as a child pounding on the door of his cell crying for food or water or even just a bit of sunlight. He would be a good boy. He would be normal. If only for a little sunlight. Or his mother in tears, slapping him over and over._ "You're not my son, you're not my son, not my son!"_

The demon bent her inhuman lips to kiss the boy's bloody forehead. Soon he would relive everything. He would reach the pinnacle of his anguish, then all would be over. She could taste already the lusciousness of his soul. It and his powers would be hers.

A white tiger blazing with light pounced upon her, roaring with power and rage. Her red eyes flashed and she raised a slender clawed hand. A wide berth of space surrounding her glowed, a protective field forming to shield her from the clash of Byakko.

"I've been expecting you, Tsuzuki was it? The partners always come."

She raised a hand once more and an identical copy of the shikigami materialized from smoke, and went straight for the original's throat. Tsuzuki watched in horror as his summon was evenly matched.

"You cannot win over me. I've fed on so many for so long that my powers are too great a force for you to handle, child."

Tsuzuki gritted his teeth, beads of sweat trickling down his face.

A portal of darkness opened overhead and a gigantuan creature blacker than night slowly emerged and levitated to the earth. _This demoness can summon such a beast? _It had eyes much like Kauket's as well as her equally menacing fanged grin, which she displayed with a haughty, triumphant laugh. She motioned to it and it came to her, moving with a sleek, fatal grace.

_Hisoka..._

The empath was motionless, tied firmly to the sakura tree. A trickle of dark blood poured from the corners of his eyes. Any moment he would be absorbed completely. The edges of his outline began to fade from sight. It would soon be too late.

_"He's my power source..."_

He had to break from the spell. If he could release himself from her...she would probably be weakened. Enough to seal her once more? He didn't know. He saw the gigantic creature moving towards them.

_Hisoka...please...wake up!_


	7. drifting

**Disclaimer**: Here we go...next chapter up! Drowning in Dreams is almost done. I assume you understand all the usual disclaimers, so I won't insult your intelligence. :p

Kurosaki Hisoka

_#04 drifting there, i saw you _

Sand. Sunshine. He was in the pool, floating on his back. Hisoka sighed. The sunlight was on him and there was a blue sky above and by the poolside Tsuzuki was sitting on a lounge chair with Tatsumi and Watari hanging about with drinks and tanning oil.

Why had Konoe suddenly put them on vacation? He'd forgotten why... only that there were so many days and the vacation never seemed to end. Okinawa was so beautiful. There was nothing but the pool, the beach, and the prickling sensation of Tsuzuki's smooth hands, and being french-kissed on the shoreline. They sneaked out repeatedly and met in silence on the moonlit beach, before Tsuzuki would suddenly push him down and the two would tussle in the soft sand dunes and bite down screams as they made love in shallow water. He was almost too eager, and the days seemed to flicker by.

In bliss.

He sighed again, and licked his lips, which tasted distinctly of pineapple and four seasons, and allowed himself to sink deeper. His body felt incredibly light, even lighter than at the moment of his death. When he gazed up he glimpsed himself reflected on the water's surface, the sunlight casting itself on it, making a beautiful glassy picture of the sky. 

He reached up and everything began to fall away; like a dissolving picture of ash. He was taken aback. The images of the beach and grinning, seductive Tsuzuki began to disappear. He was now in a place that was deep, dark and wide, with barely even the scent of a salty ocean to hold on to. "What's going on?" he asked aloud. As if in answer, something seemed to change around him.

Images began to fly towards him, assaulting him in vivid light, color and sensation. Echoes reverberated around him. One image was a little boy in a loose robe pulled down to his waist gritting his teeth as a dark figure standing over him brought a whip flailing upon the incandescent flesh of his back. He screamed. Another was the same little boy, staring at the walls of a dark basement, beating his fists against a locked door. Blood was falling everywhere in every image. 

_"You're not my son, not my son, not my son!"_

What was happening? It was that thing people kept saying would happen in death; one's life flashes before them. And now it was flashing; raw and sickening in its pain and sadness. Hisoka shouted, trying to wave away those dark images, but his body felt crushed by the almost absolute weight of all those excruciating memories. His eyes were welling up, his back reminiscing of marks of hate.

Stop it...

He shut his eyes and covered his ears, screaming. The crazy world he was trapped in was spinning. 

Stop it--!!!

He blinked. All the flying images were gone. Except for a single one. It seemed to extend everywhere in all directions, but was far more vivid than all the others. The scene was like an oil painting, effortlessly lush. He squinted. What was it...something crimson. It looked a lot to him like... a faraway tree under a raven sky. A shower of red petals. And there was someone under it, a silver haired demon. He had a knife, and a fatally sinister smile.

"No..".

It was as if his body was moving...drifting. Slowly, towards that horrible horrible scene. He struggled against it. He didn't want to go there, he didn't want to see it. 

_Hisoka...please...wake up!_

_"_Tsu--Tsuzuki?"

It was like a voice resounding from far, far away behind him. He turned on his heels and there he was. Purple pools of eyes. Reaching toward him, hand outstretched, appearing as if he was behind a pale film which made his outline blurred and hazy. Hisoka felt both comforted in hearing it and desperate to kiss the tips of his fingers, to be held. He was under water again, yet now it was heavy and his body moved like a sloth. He fought and fought. Behind him the scene of terror and madness beckoned to him.

To cut him open again. To pluck and peel him like a fruit of suffering. 

"Tsuzuki...Tsuzuki...". Was this a dream? Or some kind of mirage? He reached out to the blurry image. Those liquid bright eyes. His honest smile. He need to get out. He needed him. He was the only thing... 

_Hisoka...!_

He opened his eyes.


	8. a battle

Tsuzuki Asato

_#04 my knight slaying the beast_

"Why do you do this, Kauket?"

In answer, the demoness' pet motioned towards Tsuzuki's path.The ground quaked with each step it took. Its huge black horned head set a fiery gaze towards Tsuzuki. It gave a great roar like a giant black lion and swiped at him, its hide a dark furry canvas of flames. For its size and gait its claws was swift. 

Tsuzuki was on the ground, tasting blood on his teeth. Neither Suzaku, Byakko, nor Touda had any effect on this creature. It was as if it was indestructible. Generations of shinigami and their shikigami must have been eaten by this ancient woman, he imagined, so many she was so strong. It was a wonder he had not known her name before and shuddered to hear it, even by his own shikigami. He spat on the ground and dimly saw a tooth lying in the sticky scarlet puddle.

"Why..." He managed. "Is it because of Sarganatas? Of Grand Duke Astorath? Or are you one of the parasitic shikigami?"

"No." The spindly woman sniffed and ran her snakelike tongue across her lips. Tsuzuki caught a glimpse of the beast suddenly materializing above him. Thinking fast, he shot to the air, narrowly missing a blast of black fire. 

"Please don't insult me, Tsuzuki-san. I could not care less about demon politics." She lifted her chin to throw him a haughty smile. "I just like pretty boys with tasty souls such as Hisoka's. And I like to eat."

"Tsuzuki!" The shinigami swiftly raised a ward in front of his face to block off a beam blast sparkling from the dark creature's jaws. Tatsumi landed a few metres away on the smoky grass. He looked as if his usual calmness was wearing thin for once. "We have to get to Hisoka!"

_She's just too powerful... more than almost anything I've ever faced in my term as a shinigami._

The two sped into the air once more as another beam blast came their way. Kauket now sat atop her pet, laughing mockingly as they blocked the path between Tsuzuki and his unconscious partner. 

He tried to catch another glimpse of Hisoka as Tatsumi tried in vain to throw balls of black energy at their foe. The boy lay so very still at the base of the sakura tree, lines of blood trickling down where the tentacles dug into his pale skin. A pang of anxiety began to build in him, and his mind raced as he could see the edges of Hisoka's outline begin to evanesce. He was starting to disappear, like a cup of tea evaporating into the air, dissolving into Kauket's waiting appetite. He would not be able to get to him in time...He was to be completely devoured by her. He was going to die.

_"Hisoka--!"_

"I'm not going to die."

The demoness and the battling shinigami looked on in amazement. It was Hisoka. His emerald eyes were half-mast, and his colorless lips parted ever so slightly. Then his eyes hardened and the black locks of hair entwined all around him dissolved in a shimmer of Hisoka's aura.

"Tsuzuki, now!"

Tatsumi lifted his hands and the evening's shadows became mobile encasing the black beast in a sable cage. It couldn't move now, weakened, and roared in helplessness.

"Humbly do I present my wish to he twelve gods that protect me... I command you to appear before us! Come forth Taimou!"

His violet eyes focused on the demoness woman, now shrieking in anger and fear. She seemed so small now, stripped of her power like the dark little parasite she was, after all. The faceless figure seemed to materialize from a smoky black cloud, looking like a strange yet majestic creature, with a smooth egg-like face. It glowed with a violent electrical energy and this energy surged towards Kauket. She was held suspended by the power and on the ground below her an intricate pattern was burned on the ground, traced with miniature lightning bolts. She screamed.

  
"Goodbye, Kauket." 

The energy gathered, forming a large sphere around her, and then abruptly it exploded in a blaze of blinding light. When the blaze had cleared, save for the intricate mark left on the floor and a few strands of her hair lying on the grass, she had disappeared, hopefully forever. 

Tsuzuki immediately rushed to the cherry tree, where his partner still stood, looking very worn and drained. Hisoka looked at him slowly, as if he was digesting every inch of him. He took a step forward and collapsed immediately in Tsuzuki's arms. Softly, he began to cry.

  
Tsuzuki bundled up Hisoka's now frail little body in his arms and held him close.

**Disclaimer and Notes**: YnM belongs to Matsushita Yoko blah blah blah. I have not finished the manga... a lot of what I know comes from the anime version, which I understand is really lacking. I took some liberties with Tsuzuki's shikigami in this part. I know nil about Taimou, but since accdg. to Theria.net, she is called 'kinjushi', I made it so Tsuzuki can summon her to constrict or seal things. 


	9. heartstrings

**Disclaimer: **Finally the last chapter! Fluff upcoming :D The usual stuff applies. Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed and given so much encouragement...unfortunately I don't really write detailed, lemon-y yaoi. ^^;; Hope you enjoy it just the way it is!

Kurosaki Hisoka & Tsuzuki Asato

_#05 happy endings_

"How much can you remember?"

It seemed he had been awake for a long time, yet unable to think or percieve with any coherence, before he answered. He looked up at morning light resting on his face, and turning on his side, found himself with a glorious view of the Enma-chou courtyard from the colossal windows. Aside from the sounds of birds outside and the turning of a book's pages, there was a calming silence. He buried his head in the pillows: his emphatic powers were a bit hazy now for he could only recognize Tatsumi's presence from his voice.

"...Enough I think, like one of those passing nightmares where all the crappy things get pushed out of memory and only the important details remain." Saying so much at once made him suddenly out of breath. "Tatsumi-san... How long--? Where--?"

The chief's secretary came into view, slowly as if behind a mist. He sat still on a bedside chair, a thick paperback novel in his hands. As he turned a page, his eyes shifted easily from the book to Hisoka and gave a brief smile.

"Eight days. Watari's recovery room. I've made sure no one else got in except Tsuzuki and I because I knew you'd be disturbed by most others. We gave you a few drugs to keep you sedated when you started convulsing. Your emphatic powers may be diminished for a while, we can't tell how long, but in good time you'll be perfectly fine." Hisoka closed his eyes and opened them again. He couldn't remember it all, no he couldn't. The only thing clear in his head was a pale, evil-eyed spidery woman cackling at him, dark memories, and Tsuzuki...Tsuzuki battling for him, his face etched with a look of utter pain, blood trickling from his mouth. And the knowledge that he had been the root of all this. He opened his mouth to speak but Tatsumi reached a hand out and closed it. 

Hisoka pushed it away. "I've caused so much trouble, haven't I?"

"None of this is your fault. Don't worry about anything." 

"But..."

Tatsumi interrupted him with a light touch to his hair, and flashed him the warm kind of smile he usually only bestowed on Tsuzuki. "No guilt-tripping can change or help anything. No one blames you Hisoka." He then closed his book with a snap and stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to finish. Tsuzuki will probably be awake shortly and he'll be so furious with himself for falling asleep."

Hisoka looked at him quizzically but he had already gone out the door. He was about to settle back down when he glanced at his side and felt his heartstrings twinge.

His partner was curled up at his bedside, breathing very softly. It was touching to watch him there, so obviously worn out from worrying about him. Hisoka touched a finger to his temples, not believing that he could not feel anything of Tsuzuki's emotions... that his senses seemed so numbed. On an impulse, he reached for Tsuzuki's hand and pressed it to his cheek. Slowly, hazily, an image came to him; the picture of his own face, and so many pretty colors. He felt tears piercing his eyes.

"Is this the real world now, Tsuzuki? Am I in the real world?"

Tsuzuki moaned a little, and stirred from his sleep. He blinked, his face so adorably puffy, (though Hisoka would never have admitted it), and rubbed his eyes and suddenly caught himself staring at Hisoka, his Hisoka, awake and looking at him with such bright, wet eyes. Drowsily, he mumbled. "Gods...Soka, you're so beautiful..."

His partner reddened. All of a sudden, as if reality had only just registered in his mind, Tsuzuki's eyes went round as plates and lunged at him squealing with happiness. Hisoka felt the wind knocked out of him, reeling from the sudden weight of his partner glomping him amidst repeated cries of "Hisoka's awake!! Hisoka's awake!" He shut his eyes. Amazingly, his empathy wasn't assaulting him like it should have, considering the obvious intensity of Tsuzuki's affection and concern. It almost felt a little nice.

"Baka!" He managed. "Get off me." Realizing his folly, Tsuzuki instantly repented and uttered several apologies. After a moment of awkward silence, he pressed a little closer to Hisoka. His eyes were observing him with the same calm demeanor he always had, his face so smooth and white. His eyes were deep deep pools of green. Feeling bold, he reached out, pulled him towards him. He didn't resist, letting those strong arms encircle him.

"I was so worried about you...I'm so glad you're okay now."  


"...I know."

Hisoka felt blood rush to his face again. Tsuzuki was laughing, and to him the sound of it was like wind chimes. "Awww Hisokaaaa~ you're so _kawaii! _ That's why I love you so much!" The embarrassment was killing him. Hisoka gave him a fearsome glare. "Baka, shut--"

Tsuzuki cupped his face with one hand and gingerly spreading apart his lips, pressed his own upon them. Hisoka's eyes widened and then his gaze softened. He felt the warm tingling sensation of his candy tongue, the heat of his mouth. So much love and warmth emanating from the older shingami that even his temporarily weakened empathy could pick it al up, sweep him away. When after a long moment they broke apart, Tsuzuki touched his forehead to his, and kissed his partner's closed eyelids.

He grinned. "Excuse me, now what were you saying?"

It was scary, even, to care about a person this much. Stars of tears were trickling down his face. To feel such love for him in this moment of moments. Even, if he was such a stupid _baka._

"Do you love me?" He said, sounding a little pissed.

"More than anything." Tsuzuki answered, his voice going low like it did when he truly, deeply meant his words. He lifted a hand and gently brushed away those pretty, sparkling tears.

"Then shut up and kiss me again."

_Never let me go...Always, always...I want to be where you are._


End file.
